Have you ever planned an event on Facebook because you figured that would be the easiest way to contact many people at once about something coming up? A birthday, karaoke night, games night...Facebook not only allows for all the details to be posted at once, but it also allows guests to mark themselves as "going" or "not going" or "maybe going."
So, as your event approaches, you note that 14 people have agreed to come to your event, and that 5 are not sure, whereas 4 have said that they can't make it. Great! you think, that's an awesome turnout! I'll make reservations! So you call the restaurant, or karaoke bar, or whatever place it is you're going to, and you tell them that 15 people are coming, just to be on the safe side. You never know if one of your "maybes" could turn into a "going!" As the event date approaches, you become excited. Finally, that thing that everyone's been saying they want to do since last year is happening!
The date comes around, and you check the Facebook event page. It looks like two of your "goings" have turned into "not goings," and they apologize profusely on the event page, citing late working hours or dogsitting duties that came up last minute. Oh well, you think, 12 is still close to what you were expecting...and no one else has cancelled, so it must mean they are coming! Right? Right??
WRONG. Two hours before the event, the texts and Facebook messages start pouring in: Sorry, something came up! Maybe next time? :(... My cat is sick...I have too much school work...My girlfriend is having a rough night and she really needs me...
From 14 people, your list of "goings" has dwindled to 6 people. You show up at the venue early, just to make sure you're a responsible host and welcome people when they arrive. You wait for half an hour, reassuring the server that your friends are coming. Then one person comes, and fifteen minutes later, another person comes in. You get a text, and three people tell you that they are coming late. The other person just never shows up. And never texts you.
What was meant to be a good party turns into a lame, drawn-out failure of a night. And the saddest thing is, this is SO typical of this generation. People think that just because they've texted some lame excuse or left some "legitimate" reason on the Facebook event page, they can now unburden themselves of the guilt of having made a commitment to come and do something. Commitment to events is fleeting, spontaneous, and easily forgotten. What happened to following through with your word? What happened to respecting the host and letting them know with a lot of time in advance?
I saw a friend of mine spend her birthday seated at two large tables in a nice restaurant, only to have three guests show up. Three. Not even her close friends - no. And she had planned the event a MONTH AND A HALF in advance. What were the excuses? Does it matter? The point is, her friends didn't even have the decency to let her know well in advance that they wouldn't be able to make it. A couple of people just neglected to show up altogether.
And this flakiness of attitude is built into the very communication system we use with each other. Facebook allows for a category called "maybe" in its invitation system. Since when did anyone RSVP with "maybe?" In the good old days, people RSVP'ed "yes" or "no" to those little invitation cards we used to give out. And maybe because the invitations have gone virtual, so have the commitments. What people say online can be different from what they say on the phone, or in person. There is less of a contract to follow through with a simple click of a Facebook "going" button than there is with an actual person talking to you. And not having to call people to let them know you can't make it makes it SO much easier to lie your ass off about the many responsibilities you, as an adult, must attend to instead of attending some frivolous event. Texts are convenient, no-stress, no-small-talk messages that allow for the pretentiousness of sad emoticons and expressions of regret.
I'm not saying that people weren't flaky before. People are flaky, let's face it. But our technology makes it that much easier for us to fall into our flaky ways, guilt-free. When we make promises to computer screens and smartphone displays, it is so much easier to go back on our word.
I would go on, but I'm so sorry guys. I have to go do some homework. :( Maybe next time?
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